John Powell – GlobalTV.com

She wanted to go out with her guns blazing and she did. Natalia Azoqa, the industrial engineer from California, had the rug pulled right from under her as her Goliath Alliance teammate Alec stabbed her in the back. To twist the blade even further, he pulled in the two David Alliance members on the newly-formed Vuku Tribe to vote her out. Now that’s a kick in the head.

“Honestly, I had these doubts about Alec early on that day and Tribal Council just confirmed it for me. I was just trying to think about how to turn it around in my favour. When you see him whispering to Elizabeth, that was me going home. When he whispered to Kara, I was wondering if Kara was in on it. I thought I had Kara but for her to talk to him too, that messed with my head. When Kara did not see that something was wrong it was either she wasn’t seeing what I was seeing or she was in on it,” said Natalia reflecting on that critical Tribal Council.

What really preyed on Natalia’s mind though was whether her good friend on the island, Kara, was involved in her demise.

“Before I walked away at Tribal Council I asked her again because I just really needed the confirmation one more time. To be hurt by her would have been something else. I was really close with Kara. I really do believe she had no idea what was going on and she was blindsided by the whole thing. We will have to see how she recovers,” she said.

As per Kara and Angelia’s plan back at the Goliath Tribe, Natalia was supposed to be working hand in hand with Alec. Natalia’s dilemma was she wasn’t that close to Alec in the first place.

“On the surface it looked like Alec and I were buddy-buddy. We had a good connection. Kara and Angelina made it clear that we all had a guy we were working with. Shortly after than conversation I spoke to them about how I really didn’t have Alec. He really wasn’t talking about game to me. In the game, if someone is not talking strategy with you, they are clearly not working with you. I tried really hard on the Goliath Tribe to finesse that relationship with him, slowly build up enough trust that he would want to work with me. It never happened,” said Natalia as she admitted how paranoia took hold of her game.

John Powell: Paranoia eventually clouds everyone’s game. Were you really wigged out about Elizabeth and Kara’s relationship?

Natalia Azoqa: “I was definitely having paranoia. Kara has this energy about her. She is very fun and loving. The conversation became solely between them two. It was almost like I was a person who was just shadowing them the whole time. It made me feel on the outs. I felt very out of place. They had too many things in common, things that I couldn’t relate to at that point. When you have one of your closest allies making you feel this way and you have Alec, who is not giving you eye contact, you are going to have some kind of self-doubt. There is really no getting around it. Did I act a little bit crazy? Yeah, I acted a lot crazy!”

John Powell: Watching last night’s episode, were you surprised by Alec’s reaction to how you spoke to Davie before Tribal Council?

Natalia Azoqa: “Alec’s interpretation was because of everything going on. I don’t think Davie took offense to what I said. I talked to Davie quite a bit. I think he really understood my personality. We actually got along. I really wasn’t trying to be rude in any way. I was just telling him not to be stupid right now. I was acting a little forceful and I regret that. Seeing it on television made me think about how I interact with others. It was just I was really heated in the moment.”

John Powell: Having had time to think about your experience and the game, what are your takeaways from your time on Survivor?

Natalia Azoqa: “You cannot let your emotions take control of your game. I played with my emotions a lot. In the moment, if you don’t have people like Christian to comfort you it is really hard. If I ever got to play again I just need to remember to internalize my own thoughts and have my own moments for myself. I needed to think things over before lashing out.”