Your browser is out of date and may not properly display all features on this and other websites.
Update your browser for a better experience on GlobalTV.com.
The Cleveland Show
Dec 14 2012, 01:31 AM by Christine Montgomery
Hey gleeks! What did you think of Glee, Actually? Here's a quick reminderoo that Glee, Actually marked the winter finale for Glee, which will return with new episodes January 24th. Until then, keep checking in with us at the Global TV Glee Club for enough Gleekery to satisfy your gleekiest dreams!
Sue: "Dear journal, it's christmas time again. That time of year when parents aren't arrested for forcing their children to sit on a stranger's weirdly hot lap"
After Artie falls off his wheelchair, he begins feeling particularly resentful about his disability. While asleep in the nurses office, Artie has a vision of what life would be like without his wheelchair. In this alternate universe, Kurt has never met Blaine, Quinn has died, and Glee Club never existed. Finn is just another moronic jock:
Artie: But you guys aren't straight deusch bags - you sing songs by Lady Gaga!
His vision makes Artie realize that he's the glue that keeps Glee Club together, and he truly does live a wonderful life. Meanwhile, in NYC, Kurt has decided he can't afford to go back to Lima for the Christmas holidays:
Rachel: Well, if you're not gonna go to Lima, then my dads and I insist that you come with us to the Rosie O'Donnell gay cruise."
But Lima comes to Kurt after Burt Hummel makes a surprise visit to NYC. The bad news is Burt has prostate cancer. The good news is that they caught the cancer early, he'll most likely be alright, and Burt is as caring as ever:
Burt Hummel: "The Rockettes may have better legs than me, but they can't touch my 'Single Ladies' performance"
Burt has also brought Kurt a very special Christmas gift...Blaine! Kurt and Blaine sing their traditional holiday duet together, still uncertain of their future together but on good terms:
Burt Hummel: "Can I just give you one piece of advice now that we're talking father to son? This is the third time I've had to stare death in the eye. You know the one thing I took away from that? You've got to hold the people you love close to you no matter what"
Blaine tells Kurt he's considering auditioning for NYADA once he graduates. Meanwhile in Lima, Puck's back in town, determined to bond with his younger brother Jake:
Puck: "Come spend Chanukah in La-La land with me. All you need is money for gas and burritos, my hog has a sweet sidecar "
Jake soon discovers that Puck isn't getting ahead in L.A., and after mending the relationship between their two moms - who bond over a mutual hatred of papa Puckerman - Jake convinces Puck to move back to Lima.
Brittany believes the Mayan apocalypse is upon us:
Sam: "Brittany, can I ask you a question?" Brittany: "Not if you're going to tell me the Mayan apocalypse isn't real. Because the documentary I watched was on the history channel, with real actors portraying real events"
Brittany and Sam go on a mission to make their final days on this earth really count:
Brittany: "Some people just can't face the cold, hard fact that this earth is just the back of a giant crocodile that's destroyed and recreated every 100 years"
With only a few days left to live, Brittany and Sam decide to tie the knot. Luckily, coach Beiste was certified a Mayan priest on the internet. Brittany and Sam share their vows:
Sam: "Brittany, I always thought you were super hot and really smart. But I never knew you were going to end up being my soul mate. Who knows what the future holds for us. Probably horrible tsunamis and sea monsters, but now I'm not worried about hat because I have you."
Brittany: "Sam, when you first joined the Glee Club I didn't notice for awhile. It wasn't until you did a Rich Little impression, then told me it was a Rich Little impression, and then explained who Rich Little was, that I knew you were special. And I can't tell you how excited I am to become your Mayan Star Wife"
The Mayan apocalypse never happens, and Beiste confesses she lied to Brittany and Sam. Meanwhile, Sue has been filled with Christmas spirit, determined to do a good deed. After finding out Marley and her mother were going through financial troubles and couldn't afford a proper Christmas, Becky and Sue break into the Rose home to surprise Marley and Millie with a Christmas tree, gifts, and money to help with Marley's therapy sessions for her eating disorder.
Millie Rose: "I wanted to thank you for what you did for Marley & me" Sue: "I don't know what you're talking about, I had nothing to do with that film."
Watch Glee Thursdays at 9.00 et/pt.