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  • About

    Glee

    SEASON 3: With a soundtrack of hit songs from KISS to Lady Gaga, McKinley High School's glee club returns in this uplifting comedy series with biting humor. Optimistic high school teacher Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) continues his work with the dysfunctional but charming members of New Directions while the ever-menacing Cheerios coach, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch), does her best to disband them.

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  • Advertorial
    Shine on, urban campers! You smell like adventure.
    Advertorial
    You irritate me, Will. You make the underflaps of my breasts burn.
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    So why don't you go home, rest, watch some TV, die.
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    I'm going to have to go stare at some wounds.
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    I'm so bored, I fell into a microsleep.
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    70% of all teeth in this school are wooden.
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    Children must know fear. Without it, they won't know how to behave.
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    Hallowe'en is that magical day of the year when a child is told their grandmother is a demon.
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    I know at times I mess around with you guys for fun. It aids with indigestion.
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    This country is not a monarchy William. Trust me, I've tried.
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    I need to know what's going on with that Glee club. Brittany, Jugs The Clown, go.
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    Trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming.
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    I'm going to make a point of not talking to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time.
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    So you like show tunes? Doesn't mean you're gay -- it just means you're awful.
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    You take weird little strides when you walk as if you were raised in Imperial Japan and someone found your feet.
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    Will, I may buy a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby's ass.
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    I am engorged with venom and triumph.
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    You have enough product in your hair to season a wok.
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    I won't be burying any hatchets unless I happen to have a clear shot at your groin.
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    I woulda got you [a mocha], Will, but I don't like you.
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    Hey buddy. Get a haircut? Looks awful.
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    All I want is one day a year where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.
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    You three are boring me now. I'm gonna do something else.
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    I got my cheerios on a yam diet. Draws the water out of the skin.
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    Told 'em to yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.
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    Stop seeing people for what they look like and ask them to show you what they can do.
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    I'm about to projectile express myself all over your Hush Puppies.
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    You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. THAT'S hard.
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    Ramps are what I call "lazy-makers".
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    You sunk my battleship, and you sunk it hard. Boom!
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    Walked in on my parents once and it was like 2 walruses wrestling.
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    I don’t trust a man with curly hair.
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    Oh hey buddy. I thought I smelled failure.
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    Your delusions of persecution are a telltale sign of early stage schizophrenia.
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    If they want to be bankers and lawyers, the most important lesson they can learn is a round-off.
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    I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.
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    Without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.
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    Dear Journal, feeling listless again today. It began at dawn when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones.
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    You have to remember something: We're dealing with children. They NEED to be terrified.
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    Stop talking. I'm trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet inanity of your assinine conversation.