When Ben "Coach" Wade first stepped off the helicopter way back in episode 1 of Survivor: South Pacific, expectations were not necessarily high for his third time playing the game. After all, he's known to be a little arrogant, a little over-sensitive, and perhaps loyal to a fault. However, Coach put on a remarkable performance this season, not only outlasting fellow all-star Ozzy but becoming the spiritual leader of his tribe and making it to the final three. We talked to Coach (OK, mostly he talked to us - he's chatty!) about his leadership style, his future, and why love is the reason he didn't win the title of Sole Survivor.
You had a real arc in your season - you started by showing up on the beach and were shunned by your tribe but then you really managed to turn it around. How did you become such a leader of your tribe?
You look at the pre-game and you look at Rick saying "who do I not want to see out here? Coach. I can't stand the guy, he's full of himself, he's a dragonslayer, there's no such thing as dragons, blah blah blah." People were looking at me saying: "he's a temporary player." You look at me sitting five feet away from my tribe that first day after I lose the challenge, as Ozzy's leaping into the arms of Savaii and you're like "yeah, Coach Wade's going out first." And you know, I thought that too.
But I knew what to expect coming out there and I knew how to prepare. I realized in my two previous times we had had the worst shelters ever. I knew they were going to look to me and say "Coach, do you know how to build a shelter?" So I spent several days before I left with a decorated war veteran, and I was like "dude, show me how to build a really good shelter." We went out there and we made a plan for an igloo, like a 360-degree shelter. And we built it, they saw that I had experience, they saw that I had value and said "we'll keep him around for three days."
And that's when I started with my leadership style that I apply in life. I had never applied it on Survivor but like the maestro of a symphony, you want everybody to feel loved, valued and respected. The tuba might have eight notes in a piece of music, but you make sure that tuba player knows that he's the most important musician in the orchestra. The flute players, they might be playing a lot but might be covered up by everybody else because they're so light and frail and not very loud, and so you lay everybody else down and you play up the flutes. And so I could say for different people out there, Rick was like the tuba player because he didn't say a lot but he was still really important, you could always count on him. Edna was like the flute player because in the beginning everyone wanted to sweep her under the rug, they said she's the weakest player.
What did you see in Edna?
You know, I spent two days watching her to see what she brought to the table. One day I saw her sharpening the machete for an hour in the sand. And I touched it afterward and it was sharp enough to shave the hair on your arm. And I brought her in where we were having the fire and I was like: "everybody, look at this machete, it's awesome, can you believe it?" I've never felt a sharp machete out here - JP's tried, Boston Rob had tried, everybody's tried but nobody can sharpen that machete. And yet Edna has. And Edna said "when I was six years old I would sit on the floor for hours and my parents would make me sharpen all the kitchen knives in their Chinese restaurant." And all of a sudden Edna became a person.
Sophie had the same thing the first day. Totally couldn't fit in, she didn't know what to do. And I was like "Sophie, you're a college soccer player, I'm a college soccer coach." And she was like: "yeah please, tell me, show me what to do, I really want to be coached out here." And so I did that.
The key to leadership in any scenario is to make people feel loved, valued, appreciated, respected. And I did that and it was genuine. I truly wanted the best for these people. And I think that that leadership and the way I empowered people out there is what made it that nobody ever wrote my name down. Boston Rob had everybody brainwashed and he had everybody by fear. And yeah, I did use a little fear when I said "if anybody goes against the family, they're dead" but for the most part it was a totally different style. I know that on day 20, right after the merge, I was talking to Rick and Sophie and Albert and they said "you know we came in to play this game as crazy as possible, but playing it with you we really feel like we want to stick together and to have that honour and integrity."
I know you guys got sick of hearing that. Heck, I got sick of myself saying it! Three weeks ago, I was like "dang, don't say it ever again." It actually is devaluing the message - if you're an honourable man, you don't have to go around and tell people you're an honourable man. For me out there, it really became a safety blanket. I wasn't perfect, I tried to live by it, I made mistakes, I really did try to do the right thing and it was hard to do and I failed. But I think I did, on the whole, a good job of holding my character.
You and Sophie and Albert made it to the end and it seemed to viewers that while the three of you made the same moves, Albert paid for it, and you paid for it, but Sophie kind of glided through and won - so what is the difference between the two of you?
Here's the difference: Sophie did not make anybody feel anything, except for maybe irritated that she didn't participate in most of our festivities. She checked out for 15 days in the middle of the game and didn't say a word to anybody, didn't get firewood, didn't go do anything. I loved these people and they knew that. It’s like in a relationship: if I don't know who you are and you insult me I might get ticked off at it but chances are, I'd be like "whatever." If you and I are in a deep relationship and I care deeply about you and you hurt me - because I love you and you love me I'm going to be hurt the most. Usually I'm the biggest asshole to the people I love the most - it's human nature. And so I think when they felt betrayed and had to be cut off one by one, systematically, they were deeply hurt because I had made them feel that way.
What's next for you?
I have a new show coming out next year in Fall 2012! Look for "The Coach Show." It's in development, we're going to start production probably in February and it's animals and Coach and the wild, and culture and travel, and a little bit of coaching. It's going to be all that rolled into one. So I'm excited about that.
_______
Watch Survivor: South Pacific, including the Grand Finale, online.